I prefer the term D/s to the more commonly used phrase, BDSM, for several reasons.
BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination, Sadism and Masochism. Actually, it's a bit more complex than that, since some say the letters have a double meaning. According to some, B&D stands for Bondage and Discpline, D/s for Dominance/submission and S&M for Sado Masochism.
However you read it, D/s talks about a general lifestyle, rather than specific activities or a preference within the lifestyle.
I am a D/s Master. That defines who and what I am. Yet before I even knew the term D/s I still occasionally practiced bondage. On the other hand, I've never practiced sado-masochism. It's not my thing.
The only real rules inside a D/s relationship, is that two (or sometimes more) consenting adults mutually fulfill each other's needs, by previous agreement. This agreement is sometimes put on paper in some sort of a contract, but more often is a verbal agreement that can be ended by any party at a time it ceases to fulfill them.
As for my own interests, I practice psychological domination, rather than some of the more physical paths. I have always been fascinated by the human mind, and as such, always look to the pyschology of a D/s relationship as a major point of interest.
A lot of my stories revolve around sexual combat. It's when two people, both into psychological domination, engage in sexual play in order to see which dominates. It can be something as simple as getting the other person to cum first. This sort of play is far more common than most will admit, however, there is usually still one acknowledged Dom or Domme and one acknowledged submissive.
However for the scene or the duration of play, the submissive can struggle and try to turn the tables if he/she can. This means that the Dom/Domme, does not always win. I don't always win. But I win enough of the time to keep me in power.
And after the scene is over, I am Master again, clearly and without doubt in either party's mind. This may seem unusual to you, but sexual combat, fighting for domination of the relationship is certainly something I've spoken about with other Masters before. It's a game and the thrill is not always in the winning.
The Internet is filled with excellent sites that go through the ABCs of D/s and BDSM. Castle Realm is one of the best. I also like BDSM Backroom and for those looking for more advanced information, check out Steel Door.com. There are so many others I can't hope to list them all, but these are ones I've found particularly useful.
